May 16th, 2005

Bored Games

I’ve always found Pictionary to be too easy. I’m not trying to be arrogant here. I feel I can say this because, well, I’ve devoted my life to the practice of representing people, places, and things by putting lines on sheets of paper. There is no single activity I have done more in my life than that. Add in the four and a half years of art school and, well, at this point, if someone puts me in front of a dry-erase board and a group of guessers and says “Draw something that will make them say ‘chicken’.” I can scribble out something that will make them say “chicken.”

Conversely, when I play Pictionary, it’s usually not all that challenging or fun for the people who are guessing.

(Imagine a scene where everyone is laughing and having a good time with this wacky game. Then it’s my turn to draw.)

Timekeeper: “Ok, you’ve only got one minute! And… Go!”

Guesser 1: “Ok, ok, it looks like an animal. Um….”

Timekeeper: “55 seconds left.”

Guesser 2: “It’s some kind of bird! Ha-ha!”

Timekeeper: “54 seconds.”

Guesser 3: “Chicken!”

Me (recapping the marker and sitting down.): “Yes.”

Timekeeper: “52 seconds left.”

(Disappointed silence.)

Well this all about to change. Kaiser, Megan, Steph, and I put our heads together a few weeks ago and came up with Artist’s Pictionary. (I’m pretty sure we were drinking beer at the time, which should account for most of what I’m about to tell you.) We decided the game could work one of two ways. Either:

a) You get an object to draw and an artistic style to draw it in. (Example: Chicken in Neo-Cubism).

or…

b) You have to draw an abstract concept. (Example: The Id.)

After the guessing there’d be a speed crit where each of the guessers would have 30 seconds to tear the artist a new one, then you’d move on.

Doesn’t that sound like a fun game! It totally makes up for the fact that I spent my childhood holed up in my room all alone!

Ok, while I’m salivating just thinking about it, most of you are either completely lost or convinced this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard. But this could be just one in a whole line of elitist board games. Here are some more possibilities:

  • Operation for Surgeons
  • Battleship for Naval Officers
  • Clue for Police Detectives
  • Scrabble for the Multilingual
  • Monopoly for Bill Gates

It’s brilliant! And, for those of you reading this (both of you) and scheming your schemes, there will be no crazy-getting-of-riches for you. And certainly not quickly. This is our crazy-get-rich-quick-scheme. We thought of it first. It’s trademarked and patent-pending. And we’ve got lawyers. Big, scary lawyers.

They’re in the back room.

Playing Trouble.

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