February 2nd, 2006

Kind of Blue

This band needs a name.

“What band?” you might be asking.

That would be Kevin, Dad, and I. We’ve been playing bluegrass together for a while now, and our second official gig is coming up, here in Raleigh. Our last performance was over a year ago, also in Raleigh. (We’re on the slowest tour in the history of live music. As soon as we come up with a name, I’m making t-shirts for this band. They’ll say “World Tour” on the back, followed by the dates of our shows: “Raleigh-2005”…“Raleigh-2006”…“Raleigh-2009”…etc.).

Looking back, our sound was really, um, “rough around the edges” when we played last year. These days, we’re practically professionals! And we must have a name that reflects this.

We’ve gone by many different names since we started this bluegrass thing, but none of them have stuck. Years ago Kevin and I called ourselves “The Trained Monkeys,” a reference to the way Dad would always make us get our instruments out and play for visiting friends or relatives, like his little performing animals. At this point, however, we’ve successfully turned the tables on Dad, making him learn to play the upright bass. Now, if he wants us to play, he has to play with us.

Briefly we were “The Spongebottom Boys.” Kevin blurted this out, as a joke, when we needed a name for that gig last year. He’s never offered an explanation, but I’m going to say it’s a cross between The Soggy Bottom Boys from O Brother Where Art Thou and SpongeBob Squarepants. I thought it was kind of funny. Steph and Mom, on the other hand, despised this name.

So we ended up playing our gig as “Sigogglin” (“Si-Goggle-In”). It’s an old word from the Appalachian mountains which they describe in the documentary Mountain Talk. (If you haven’t seen this, go find it and watch it now.) “Sigogglin” means “leaning,” “off center,” or “not square.” It was Steph’s suggestion and it was perfect for the “rough around the edges” sound we had back then. Of course that was a year ago. These days we’re really proffes…. Alright, “professionals” may be stretching it, but we’re way better than we were. Seriously.

No one could say, spell, or remember “Sigogglin,” anyway. And I’ve already done my time in a band with a name that no one could say, spell, or remember. I was the drummer in a band called…“Mosmaiorum.” There is a fascinating story behind this name. You see, we started as a 60s and 70s cover band under the name “Retroactive.” But soon we began writing and playing our own songs, so that name didn’t make sense anymore. Bryan, the guitar player, was taking latin at the time and told us that “mosmaiorum” was latin for “retroactive.” Seemed like a good idea at the time.

We were actually pretty decent, for a high school band. The Cary News wrote an article about us. We even won a few talent shows and battles of the bandses. No one ever, ever announced our name right. “The winner in the band category of Cary High’s 1997 Star Search is…um…Mos…? Mosmer…. Mosmerryundum!” I don’t ever want to go through that again.

Bluegrass bands have names like “The Clinch Mountain Boys” and “The Foggy Mountain Boys.” All you really have to do is take a landmark from your area and tack “Boys” on the end of it. It’s a solid formula. We’re from Cary, so let’s see, we could be the “The Crossroads Plaza Boys.” Or “The Macgregor Downs Boys….” Ok, we’re running into a problem here: Cary is the least bluegrass-y place on earth. (Sadly, that’s the town slogan, I believe: “Cary: The Least Bluegrass-y Place on Earth.”) This won’t do. Unlike last time we played, when that sound of ours was still rough around the edges, we now need a name that says “tight, riveting bluegrass music.” After all, these days we’re…well…we’ve definitely improved from where we were back then…I think….

There are certain words that you hear in just about every bluegrass song, maybe we could use this as a starting point. “Train” is the most frequently-used word in bluegrass. 70% of all bluegrass songs are about either a) taking a train far away, b) taking a train back home, or c) trains, in general. I’d say “lonesome” is the second most frequently-used word. “River,” “fox,” and “rambling” (pronounced “ramblin”) are all up there, as are “banjo” (pronounced “banjer”), “hollow” (pronounced “holler”), and “far away” (pronounced “yonder”).

Perhaps we could just “string” some of these together to get our name…. “Lonesome Train River.” “Fox River Train.” “Fox Train Ramblers.” Wow, these are all good. As I said, I just want something that matches our current level of expertise. Forget about that rough around the edges sound, these days we…um…we’re….

You know what, we need to spend less time worrying about our name and more time worrying about our sound. It’s still way too rough around those edges.

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